Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Happy Valentine's Day, FedEx! -- posted by Mom

Bright and early this morning we received a phone call from FedEx inquiring about a package Billy sent from the UK to Sarah Grace for Valentine's Day. The representative, Quiniece, proceeded to ask Sarah about the sender of the package because she thought it said Billy Love. Sarah told her his name is Billy Lane and he is her best friend. Then Quiniece said, "It says it is a mirror card. What is that?" Sarah said she supposed it was a Valentine's Day gift from Billy. Quiniece said, "Yes I know that, but what's in it?" Sarah said she didn't know, but perhaps her mom knew more, and she passed the phone to me.

When I took the phone, haughty Quiniece explained that they needed to know what was in the package. I explained that Sarah is the recipient of a gift, and asked her how we should know. She said the customs label said mirror card and she asked what that was. I said I presumed it was a mirror and a card. She then proceeded to ask me the dimensions of the mirror. Again, I explained to uppity Quiniece, the bully with an over-blown sense of authority, that we are the recipients of a gift and she should CALL THE SENDER FOR THIS INFORMATION.

As the conversation continued with me trying to get to the bottom of the "so, what?" over the dimensions, she gave me a typical bureaucratic response that the dimensions were of the highest importance and customs couldn't release the gift without the dimensions. I asked her why FedEx accepted the package AND TOOK BILLY'S HARD EARNED MONEY WITHOUT REQUIRING THE NECESSARY INFORMATION. My good mind of Christ told me the dimensions of the mirror were probably close to the package size, and I couldn't figure out what the big damn deal was about. She then told me that I could go online to the customs website and read all about it. With that, I was convinced that once again I was the victim of the rampant racism we deal with constantly. Quandra and Tamekia at Walmart love giving us the runaround over minutia, and seem to relish wasting our time. I see the pattern. There is a profile. So, for my own knowledge, I asked her if she was black. Of course she hung up on me. I expected that; I wanted her to know I get it, and I've had enough.

Meanwhile, I emailed Billy and told him what was going on. Mind you, he had emailed me a couple of days earlier and asked me to intercept the package and remove the customs label so it wouldn't spoil the surprise. In order to goad him to action, I asked him if they took his hard earned money to get the package here on time. This was his response:

Oh no I can't believe it! The PO this end never mentioned anything about the dimensions being necessary… I even asked the man to look over the form for me (I was talking about the previous debacle with the Christmas present) and he said it was fine! And anyway, the package is only so big, you can feel the thing inside it!

And no, the money left my account the second I finished keying in my pin number on the card reader pretty much! Oh I'm so annoyed, I paid extra to guarantee it gets there BEFORE V-Day, and I'm so upset they told her what it was as well. Oh this has ruined my day. Is she okay?

I know asking Quiniece if she was black is politically incorrect; I don't live under a rock, you know. We get this junk shoved down our throats not only in January and February but all year long! Americans are so scared of the accusation of being racist that they turn a blind eye to a pattern that is clearly evident! People, the emperor wears no clothes!

Yeah, yeah, I know this declaration supposedly makes me a racist. Never mind that one of the most godly women I know of is black; I have deep admiration and genuine love for Tracy. And yet, when we profess such a truth it is mocked for being further evidence of racism! And never mind that my father evicted me from my home when I was in my 20s because I went to a church that had a black member. I stood up to racism to my own hurt! But none of that counts when I state the truth that in my experience a large percentage of black women have an axe to grind, and treat white women with disdain.

Many thanks to Patty, a customer advocate who seems to have common sense, but unfortunately doesn't have any authority over Quiniece. She explained that the declared value of the gift was so high it got attention from customs. Evidently once you pass a certain amount, it automatically gets flagged. Hopefully Sarah's gift won't be sent back to the UK.

Nevertheless FedEx has not heard the last of me on this. I told the Lord that I intend to scandalize these businesses that have nonexistent customer service. There is an epidemic of lazy American workers of all races. They constantly drop calls they don't want to deal with, and most people don't want the hassle of demanding justice. Shame on them! They allow themselves to be stolen from and just take it!

And to my sons, take note that the only people I know personally who gird their loins and fight this kind of abuse are women. Mary Lucia and Jo are pit bulls and I thank God for them, but WHERE ARE THE MEN?

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