Friday, May 29, 2009

Oh Grow Up -- posted by Momma

Here's an interesting piece for all you young, and not as young as you imagine, single males- the gamers, the self-deprecating narcisists, the Friends generation, and the anti-depressed alike... if you can hack reading a multi-paragraphed article. Tough love, Baby, tough love.

(Not for little eyes, John.)


FR said...

First of all, you misspelled "narcissist". Second of all, that article is so misguided I'm having trouble thinking of a "second of all". So I'll just move directly into "third of all", I want to believe that your comments are meant to be satirical or ironic- anything other than absolute. Because if not, the article, while extensive, is ridiculously overgeneralized and borderline offensive to those members of male society who strive to defy the world's ready-made label of testosterone and instant-gratification. The "argument" can be justly made for almost any prevalent organism on the planet. Prevalence leads to majority. Unfortunately, majority often leads to definition. Basically, social labels are born from a lack of "high-definition" thinking- contemplation with lack of clarity. Leave it to the human race to crystallize television images before sufficiently developing the sharper edges of our own thought process.

I love you. But c'mon.

The Allen Family said...

Dear Franklin,

It's great to hear from you, especially after you promised to write us the week after Easter. There were little boys here excited about getting to know a cousin they had not yet met. John was especially eager to identify more "obscure commonalities."

Relative to your comment, first of all, your condescending barb about my misspelling was extremely hurtful. I am your aunt and your elder, and I found it highly disrespectful. I have loved you since before you were born. Remember the pictures of your homecoming with the "Welcome Home Franklin" banner with blue lettering in the background? I made that with all the passion of an aunt who was deeply excited to welcome her new nephew. My love for you has never waned.

In a way, your caustic comments somewhat illustrated the point of the article. You are a twenty-seven year old man who demeaned his aunt on a public forum. It shows a lack of love, self-control, and common decency. Further, that you were so highly offended, spoke volumes. It is evident that this article hit a nerve.

You seem to be more concerned with the article making generalities than with its substance: the critique of this segment of the male population.

My main beef with the article is that it didn't tackle the subject from a spiritual and Biblical perspective. The Lord says to leave your parents and cleave unto your wife. It does not say leave your parents, get an apartment, and fornicate to your hearts content for fifteen years or so while periodically mooching off your parents when you won't make ends meet. The only exception to the "leave and cleave" mandate is for those who have the gift of singleness to better serve the Lord.

Are you actually suggesting this trend of child-men doesn't exist? Will knows that it is his responsibility to see to it that his sister marries well, and yet, there was not one fellow student in college that he would dare introduce to his sister. This lack of suitable prospective husbands is widespread.

I don't apologize for my absolute rebuke of this trend. It is shameful, ungodly behavior and needs to be corrected.

Not minding the Lord has awful consequences. If we love our neighbors as ourselves, we can't help but to scandalize unholy lifestyles and to warn against them.

I love you Franklin,

Aunt Mandy

FR said...

If my comments came across as condescending, it was only because I felt your post was offensive. I just don't understand your frame of reference.

I am absolutely in love with life.
But it's a tumultuous relationship- because it doesn't always love you back. And then there are times when it disappoints and lets you down ("Life, what are you doing? You know better than that!") And then there are times when I just get overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude of my own breath in existence.

But I stick with it. Because it sitcks by me.

Yes, I am more than aware that this section of young male society exists. It is rivaled by the arguably equally large chunk of young female society who revel in complacency- there is this creepy obsession with trying to accelerate life. I can't deny I'm a progressive thinker. But if you look closely, you'll start to see that individuals become so consumed with what they COULD be doing, they don't realize what they ARE doing. In a nutshell, society confuses technological development with their own personal innovation. There is an over-reliance on immediate gratification. Even the essence of obsoletion has become instantaneous An individual very rarely lives their life anymore- their life lives them. It's an insane world out there- filled with bombarding images, catchphrases, slogans, prices, i could go on all day... and sometimes i do. Patience is obsolete. No one misses anyone anymore- because no one ever really goes away. That's why marriage has been cheapened by the world. Many emotions have been monopolized- if you find a way to sell what humans inherently possess... well, you have yourself a profitable little industry. At least for the time being... at least until EMOTIONS become obsolete. And that is what's happening right now.

It can be a turgid, stagnant situation. Of this, I am readily aware. It wears me out. All this goes on, and I still have to physically take care of myself.

I do not embrace it, yet I refuse to protest it. I am just too enthralled with the logical reasoning of human beings (or lack thereof). People have zero clue as to why they do the things they do- and if they DID really know, most of them would shut down. We are moving forward at an indescribable speed but we are quick to justify our memories and experiences. No one's driving the car but it's on cruise control at the speed of light and for some reason no one wants to look out the friggin windshield, we are more content (complacent) to hang out in the backseat playing with toys that were sold to us as memories BEFORE we even knew they existed. Yikes! I could rant all day about all the things infecting civilization. But for all it's shortcomings and disappointments, this whole thing is just such a beautiful machine. Life lets me live here. My job I've learned is to simply manipulate the trend.

So I apologize for my offensive response to being offended. And I don't want to come off as some granola earth-muffin hippie who takes no stance on anything because of an indecisive insecurity. I'm indifferent to granola and hippies bore me (but that's another conversation altogether). I take firm stances with firm posture. I am passionate about my beliefs.

Twenty-six years old. Ahead of the curve. Here I am.

And I love you as well.

The Allen Family said...

Dear Franklin,

Not only am I bum speller, but it also seems I can't count from 1982 to October, 2009. So sorry.

Although this forum is not conducive to deconstructing your entire response, there are a few points I'd like to make.

While reading your thoughts, the song "Mad World" kept running through my head. That song is haunting to me, like an existential dirge. You remind me of myself during my college years. Do you remember that I was a philosophy major? Fortunately, the Lord disabused me of "science falsely so-called" in much of philosophy, psychology, and sociology, and he delivered me from those deceptions, and believe me, it had a stronghold in my understanding of the world and life.

Although you describe your thoughts as "progressive," I'm sure you are aware they are not original, as "...there is no new thing under the sun." (Eccl.1:9)

Which brings me to poor old backslidden King Solomon when, in Ecclesiastes, after all his rambling philosophy, he finally comes to the only worthwhile statements in the entire unspiritual book:

Eccl. 12:13-14: Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man. For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil.

My post was offensive because I was being judgmental, something the Lord commands us to do.

I Corinthians 6:2-4 Do ye not know that the saints shall judge the world? and if the world shall be judged by you, are ye unworthy to judge the smallest matters? Know ye not that we shall judge angels? how much more things that pertain to this life? If then ye have judgments of things pertaining to this life, set them to judge who are least esteemed in the church.

Franklin, my frame of reference is the Bible, the holy scriptures of God, which is the plumb line against which all of life is measured.

I'm puzzled by some of your statements, but I don't think this is the right place for these discussions.

As you know, I would prefer to have a full-blown loving relationship with you. I have grieved deeply over this great loss not being able to be an aunt to y'all.

I was ecstatic to get those emails from you only to be ditched suddenly. Will was disappointed as well when you didn't respond to his email. We don't understand this, but we want you to know that we are here for you when you want us.

All my love,

Aunt Mandy