Saturday, February 28, 2009

Overheard -- posted by Mom


Dad, responding to a little boy's burp at the breakfast table: "We're not in China, Son."

George (non-offender): "What does burping have to do with China?"

Dad: "In that culture burping at the table isn't rude. (long pause) That's why they're communists, Son"


John, reminiscing while serving himself a slice of bacon: "The bacon at the hotel in Jacksonville was so chewy that I kept chewing and chewing and chewing. It was like trying to eat a dog's chew toy."


Mom: "Richard, you're so cute I could just eat you up!"

Richard, mumbling under his breath: "Eat me up? So.... when did you start up with that?"


Friday, February 27, 2009

Otters Holding Hands -- posted by John

Ma sent this to us today. I can't believe this has been around for a year and we just saw it. Be sure to watch it past when they let go.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Are we "the rich" yet? -- posted by Mom

Obamessiah and his disciples got me down.... got me low down.

As if the gazillion dollar bailout paid for by "the rich" a.k.a. ORDINARY TAXPAYERS isn't enough, the Senate Judiciary Committee voted 14-5 this morning to send David Ogden's nomination for deputy attorney general to the full Senate for a vote. Praise be to five Republicans, Sens. Tom Coburn (R-Okla.), John Cornyn (R-Texas), Chuck Grassley (R-Iowa), Orrin Hatch (R-Utah), and Jeff Sessions (R-Ala.) who all managed to get it right (this time) by having the guts to oppose this ungodly and dangerous nomination. David Ogden is all this and this.

On a happier note, Senator Jim DeMint is a South Carolinian! Yay! And gets it right a lot of the time despite being a Republican.

"The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money."
-- Margaret Thatcher

"A government policy to rob Peter to pay Paul can be assured of the support of Paul."
-- George Bernard Shaw

"Socialism in general has a record of failure so blatant that only an intellectual could ignore or evade it."
-- Thomas Sowell

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Nurse Maggie -- posted by John

My brother Webb has a home nurse who comes here on Mondays to check on him since he got out of the hospital. Unfortunately she might not be coming back since Webb is doing so much better. I hope that doesn't happen. Not that I want Webb to be sick, but because I've looked forward to her visits.

Her name is Maggie but if I had called her anything I would have called her Miss Maggie because Miss [her last name] would have been way too formal because even though she is 28 years old, she seems younger, too young to call her by her last name, and I think she would agree.

Miss Maggie is very pretty with her makeup looking perfectly natural. At first you can't tell she has any on her face because there is no line between her face and her blush. You can't tell where it stops or starts. She wears black eyeliner but it is very clean and elegant, not at all like a raccoon. Her lipstick is perfect. It is the perfect color and it is perfectly put on. I'm telling you, no one would say she isn't very pretty.

She has her own style with her hair in a certain way pinned up artistically. Even though it looks casual, it isn't messy. It is just right with one side hanging down neatly. She wears rings on her fingers with a thick silver band on her thumb in particular.

Miss Maggie's personality is nurse-ish because she was sure to check everything with Webb, but she is also friendly and kind and she has a likable sense of humor. She wasn't too serious but she was serious enough.

We talked about different things and one of the things we talked a little bit about was Sarah Grace's talent for creating whole foods recipes, so before she left, we gave her some fiber bars Sarah had made with oatmeal and homemade raw almond butter. We also gave her some oatmeal cream pies she made but I guess they can't be considered whole foods because of a thin layer of marshmallow cream inside.

We all think Nurse Maggie is a darling and I hope she comes back sometime but not for sickness but for a visit.

I also hope she marries a holy man, a righteous man, who will love her just exactly like Jesus loves the church.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

My Facebook Mea Culpa -- posted by Mom

I deactivated my Facebook account this morning. I was the worst Facebooker ever and had been planning to deactivate for awhile when Facebook's new Terms of Service finally sent me over the brink.

To begin with, I always meant to respond to private notes I received but I would invariably forget to do so. Also, I kept getting friend requests from people I didn't, in truth, know. Maybe I went to school with them at some point but I would have felt weird seeing their pictures pop up on an official list of my friends. The fact is I don't have that many friends and the ones I have aren't the Facebook type. So, I was one lonely little social networker.

Furthermore, I don't do causes and charities or wear ribbons or chase do-good deed doing or promote any such thing. I give directly, and I do it in the name of Jesus. Foundations and societies and associations are not God's answer to health or any other problem. Jesus is. I get my healing and deliverance straight from The Healer and The Deliverer himself, and I recommend him, in all his glory, to others as well.

I'm happy to preach the gospel, lay hands on the sick, feed the hungry, care for the fatherless, etc., but I won't be building houses with Habitat for Humanity or collecting food for Harvest Hope. Facebook is rife with causes and stuff. Lots and lots of stuff.

And so, my Facebook experience just wasn't satisfying. In fact, I was starting to dread notices. And that just ain't fittin'.

Goodbye Facebook. I hope you don't use any of my stuff, but since I never trusted you from the get-go, my stuff is cool for public consumption. You just got creepier than I imagined.

P.S. I read Mark Zuckerberg's response to the uproar over the new Terms of Service, and all I can say is that if the TOS doesn't mean what it says, then the wording should be changed to reflect what it does, indeed, mean. Surely they can scare up a lawyer clever enough to find wording that reflects the truth.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Bridge Over Troubled Waters -- posted by Mom

An article linked from Drudge Report caught my eye today. In 2004, New Yorker Muzzammil Hassan founded Bridge TV in hopes of portraying Muslims in a more positive light. However, Muzzammil Hassan was arrested on Thursday for beheading his wife.

Dr. J. Rufus Fears -- posted by John

Until recently, I was the sole member of the family keeping our website alive. Mom wrote about Webb since he went to the hospital and she does her "Overheards" every now and then, but everybody else lost interest.

It's time to pay for my Diaryland site again but I'm not sure it makes sense to have both it and since they have basically the same things now. If I keep it, I want to pay for it with my own money because I would like to do something for our family since my Diaryland is superfluous. Tough decisions have to be made during depressing days. Actually, we are in a recession not a depression. Anyway, it should be my responsibility to pay for it because I want to do my part.

I sent a couple of Valentine's Day ecards to some special ladies but Valentine's Day was way low key around here. Even though Webb has been out of the hospital for a week, we still are weird. He's much better but he isn't sleeping well and he's sore. He fusses at night and cries when he gets a diaper change. Honestly, he screams bloody murder.

James is helping us build a trireme. We have shields but we're still working on helmets. We checked out a stack of books on ancient Greece while we were at the library. It's our favorite time in history. George likes studying WWII the best. I wish I could show you how a phalanx is formed. It has 16 rows with 16 men in each row.

We watch Professor Rufus Fears from The University of Oklahoma on video from The Teaching Company. He is funny and a great storyteller, too! We've never met him but he is a very homey character in our home because the older kids took his course too. We call him Rufus around here. We would never do it to his face though.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Overheard -- posted by Mom

Today, our rosy van-load of eager and optimistic children set out for the Richland County Public Library. Richard, full of a six year old's anticipation, slid the first book from the shelf only to find an image of a unicorn levitating above a mystical forest on the cover. He slowly returned it to its place and pulled out the next book which was an African tale about a certain animal's origin. It was clearly not a Genesis account. He put it back. Next were a series of books about dinosaurs, a leprechaun, a witch, Halloween, dragons, and a multitude of African folk tales- which led me to wonder if our library branch has more African folk tales than Africa herself. Finally, with glistening eyes ready to burst with tears, Richard looked up and said:

"Where's the Christian section?"

Monday, February 9, 2009

Day 14 at Palmetto Health Children's Hospital -- posted by Mom

We're home. We came home tonight WITHOUT an NG tube! Thank you Lord!

Friday, February 6, 2009

Day 11 at Palmetto Health Children's Hospital -- posted by Mom

Webb got off his oxygen yesterday. He was on 1.5 liters. While he was sleeping I propped the nasal cannula up on top of his nose and he maintained mid-nineties saturation so they took him off altogether. He stayed in the mid-nineties throughout the night which is excellent since they expect it to dip lower while sleeping. He's sawing logs now at 98%. Yippee.

He pulled out his feeding tube this morning under the watchful eye of his father while I went home to take a shower. Fortunately, he pulled it all the way out rather than feed his lungs Nutren 1.0 formula. I suppose it could have happened even with me here as it was undoubtedly an unstoppable swift yank, but that didn't stop me from teasing Papa and the nurses about their inferior care. Once they put me in charge of his yankauer (affectionately known by me as "the sucky thing"), I became the Florence Nightingale of the fourth floor. I'm unmatched in suction and outwitting Webb's rolling tongue.

The feeding tube is now back in and he's uber perturbed. I just started a Wallace and Gromit DVD in hopes of settling him down. Elmo would surely do the trick but Elmo tempts Mommy to leap from fourth floor windows. I know I should love Elmo based on his merits as my child's favorite character, but I don't. He is an obnoxious, screechy-voiced, giggler.... and his color is garish for everyday wear.... and don't get me started on the whole inner city thing.

After the first three days of no food or sleep, I asked Bill if I was making any sense while speaking with this swarm of medical professionals. He said my sentences were, well, "meandering." Frankly, I feel accomplished by creating sentences at all. I was hallucinating earlier today when I could have sworn I heard our chickens crowing.... in the hospital.... on this here fourth floor.

Looks like we will be going home soon. Webb has another swallow test on Monday. If he passes it we'll stay Monday night to watch how he's eating. If he fails it, we'll take him home on an NG tube for a week and retest the following Monday.

Please join our prayers to Father in Jesus' name that Webb will soon regain his ability to swallow thin liquids. He's great with honey and pudding consistency but that won't keep him hydrated.

[abrupt end to sentence making stamina]